My Child Doesn’t Want the Family Business—What Do I Do Now?

You’re sitting in the kitchen late at night, tea gone cold, trying to find the right words to talk to your son about the family business you’ve spent decades building—for him, for his future.

He’s quiet, headphones on, listening to a podcast. You want him to be happy, financially secure, independent, and successful… even if that means he doesn’t take over.

But the words won’t come.

The lights go out, you both wander off to your rooms, and while he sleeps, your mind races: “What if he leaves? What happens to everything I built? Can I even retire?”

A night that should’ve been restful turns into an endless echo chamber—Alice in Wonderland spirals, with anxiety dominoes falling one after another.

I know that feeling too well. I was the cause of many sleepless nights for my own father. And while I hate that I put him through that, I also couldn’t live up to someone else’s goals for my life.

So in this short, messy article, I’m going to share the things I wish I’d said, wish he’d said, and how we could’ve found middle ground way earlier. Here’s a bit of my story—hope it hits home for some of you.

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For me, the weight of carrying the family business was never the issue. It was the unspoken—but heavy—expectation that I would join, and worse, join exactly on my father’s terms.

I was never given the real option to choose what I wanted. It was always “This is where we need you” or “You’re the only one who can do this.” Only later did I realize I’d never grow in that business unless the existing GM stepped aside—and even then, I’d be stuck in the same role until that day came.

I’m capable. Worse, I’m ambitious as hell. And I knew I had the potential to build my own successful multinational if the conditions were right.

But my experience and background are built for 500+ employee organizations. The specific business I was expected to manage? Successful, yes—but 17 employees max. (The group overall is well over 100.)

So to justify my salary, I ended up doing a lot of work I’m not built for—not in character, personality, experience, or knowledge.

Yes, I came off as uninterested. But that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

My ambition was to expand the business regionally—not just stay national.

My dad tried everything to make me happy while still getting me to carry my weight and add real value. But the options he gave were the only realistic ones he could see at our size and stage.

After years of launching my own thing, working with multinationals in leadership roles, and bouncing back to the family business for one reason or another… we finally realized my siblings could run it without me.

With my growing family and ever-increasing expenses, it opened the door to talk about my kids—his grandkids—instead of what either of us was doing or prioritizing.

So we agreed, amicably, that me going out on my own was best for everyone. Better income scalability for my children and less wasted energy for my siblings trying to invent tasks just to make me feel useful.

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The 5 Real Paths Forward

There are many ways to resolve this… But we all know it’s less about picking the “right” path and more about how we talk to each other—how we actually consider each other’s perspective.

These conversations are hard. For next-gen successors, it’s often easier to lie to the older generation just to keep them happy—sacrificing their entire future and career—than to admit they want something else. Or maybe they want to do marketing… but that role is already filled by another family member, so they stay quiet to avoid stepping on toes.

So here they are—the 5 paths to resolution:

Path 1: Stay, but Redefine the Role

For HR people this is obvious… But when family is mixed with business, conversations become brutal.

The formula must make sense for the business, the family, and the individual. Consider:

• Strengths (skills, contacts, capabilities, growth potential)

• Alignment with actual business needs—not just nepotism

• Impact on other family members—are they willing to share if it’s justified?

• Non-family employee perception—will this hurt morale or optics?

Check all the boxes. Then check again.

Path 2: Graceful Transition to Corporate Career

Sometimes the best gift you can give your child is support to go find success elsewhere.

One thing I wish I’d had?

Career transition help—someone to coach me through the “family business stigma” many HR people still have when they see a resume full of family roles.

Use your network to open doors to the career they actually want—not the one you imagined for them.

At this point, what they do next has nothing to do with “How will this add value to the business?”

That thought is toxic and usually ends with resentment.

Path 3: Launch an Independent Venture

I launched my first business on a whim and a passion for recruitment. I could’ve used a business coach to avoid the expensive mistakes I made.

Set aside part of the annual profit into a separate account for next-gen ideas. Many families now give each member seed capital—the family becomes a silent partner if the plan gets board approval.

For security (which I wish I’d had), if the idea is outside everyone’s expertise, bring in an industry advisor to audit the plan, give feedback, and offer support.

When I launched mine, the family didn’t understand the model or industry enough to see the real potential. I heard, “This isn’t my field… how much do you want?” — then got half the amount or a flat no. Not understanding the risk/reward killed the funding I needed.

Path 4: Hybrid Path (Part-Time or Advisory Role)

Let them contribute in their genius zone—freelance or advisory capacity.

For me, I’m an HR strategist. I’d be perfect as an advisor on HR matters. The business isn’t large enough to justify my full-time salary, but part-time/advisory? Perfect fit.

It also leaves room for me to offer my family business advisory services to others—as you can see on my website and socials...

Path 5: Full, Amicable Exit

My family and I eventually chose this path.

But an exit needs clear terms. Does it mean:

• Selling shares back to the family?

• Keeping shares but no employment?

• Retaining board voting rights?

Clarity on the exit terms is everything.

Role clarity—whether you stay as an employee or board member or leave completely—doesn’t just help the business thrive. It preserves the family relationships that matter most.

So if you’re lying awake thinking about this, know that you’re not alone.

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The conversation is hard… but it’s the only thing that actually moves things forward.

If you want help figuring out how to start it—or how to guide your child/spouse/sibling through it—book a free 15-minute confidential call with me.

No pitch, no pressure. Just real talk about what’s possible for your family.

Sleep better tonight.

We’ll figure it out together.

Leo Khoury Check out my Family Business Tool-Box for succession and hard conversations

Schedule a free 15-min confidential call to vent about your family business.. and hopefully, to find real solutions.